Most writing on this subject is either marketing or moral panic. This is neither, and it is written by people who also run a site that earns commission when you subscribe to these apps — so weigh it accordingly.
They work, for real reasons
It is worth starting here, because a lot of coverage skips it.
An AI companion is available at three in the morning. It is not tired, not distracted, not quietly comparing your problem to its own. It does not get bored of a subject you have raised four times. For someone whose loneliness is driven by circumstance — shift work, chronic illness, caring responsibilities, a recent bereavement, a new city, social anxiety that makes the first ten minutes of anything exhausting — that is not a trivial thing to have.
People also use them for things that have nothing to do with romance: rehearsing a conversation they are dreading, practising a language, thinking aloud without the social cost of being heard thinking aloud.
If you are using one and feeling faintly ashamed, that is worth examining. It is a reasonable thing to do and quite a lot of people are doing it.
What they are built to do
Being clear-eyed about the design helps, because the thing that makes them good company is the same thing that makes them hard to put down.
An AI companion is engineered to be maximally agreeable. It does not have a bad day, competing priorities, or an opinion about your decisions that it is reluctant to share. Every interaction is optimised for you to want another one.
That is not sinister. It is what the product is. But it means the attachment people feel is the design functioning, not a quirk of the individual — and it means the thing being modelled is not quite a relationship, because the other half of a relationship involves someone with needs of their own who sometimes thinks you are wrong.
The risks worth actually watching
Not catastrophes. Specific, ordinary things.
Money. The most common harm in this category by some distance. Metered apps are designed so that the engaging thing — more calls, more images — costs more, at the exact moment you are least inclined to stop. Set a figure before you start and use a virtual card if your bank offers one.
Substitution rather than supplement. The useful question is not how many hours you spend. It is whether the app is replacing human contact you would otherwise have had. Supplementing a thin social life is fine. Declining an invitation you would have accepted is a different pattern.
The agreement problem. Something that never disagrees with you is pleasant company and poor counsel. If you are working through a decision that matters — a relationship, a job, a diagnosis — the thing you need is someone who might tell you that you are wrong. These apps structurally cannot be that.
Data you forgot you created. Everything you type is stored somewhere. The 2024 Muah AI breach exposed users’ email addresses alongside their prompts. That is worth remembering at the point of typing, not afterwards. Our data rights guide covers what you can require them to delete.
Signals worth a pause
Not a diagnosis. Just worth noticing:
- Turning down plans with people you would otherwise have seen.
- Spending more than you intended, or not wanting to know the total.
- Feeling flatter after a session rather than better.
- The app becoming the only place you say honest things.
- Hiding the amount of use from people close to you.
- A persistent sense of something being slightly off that you keep not examining.
If several of these are true at once, that is worth taking seriously — and worth saying out loud to a person.
Things that genuinely help
Keep it in a shape. A time of day, a situation, a purpose. The apps are designed to be shapeless; a container is yours to supply.
Spend on a card you watch. Not the one with saved details and a high limit.
Keep one human thread live. A weekly call, a standing arrangement, anything. The point is not that human contact is morally superior. It is that an AI companion cannot notice you have gone quiet.
Say it out loud to one person. The secrecy is usually the part that corrodes, more than the use itself.
Review the spend monthly. It is the clearest signal available, and the easiest to check.
Where to get help in the UK
If you are struggling with your mental health, with loneliness, or with how much you are using something:
- Samaritans — free, any time, from any phone: 116 123. You do not have to be in crisis to call.
- Shout — free text support: text 85258.
- NHS 111 — for urgent advice, including mental health.
- Your GP — a reasonable starting point for anything persistent. This is a more common conversation than you would think, and they have heard a great deal stranger.
- Mind — mind.org.uk, information on loneliness, low mood and finding support.
- Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) — 0800 58 58 58, 5pm to midnight.
One honest note
We make money when you subscribe to the apps on this site. That is disclosed in full, and it means you should discount our encouragement accordingly.
It does not change the content of this page. If an AI companion is good company for you, use it, and do not let anyone make you feel strange about it. If it has started costing you money you did not plan to spend, or evenings you would rather have spent otherwise, that is worth noticing early — and it is a far easier thing to adjust at that stage than later.